【格邓同人译文】Thirty-Five Owls 卅五鹰笺（8）
原作者是M'lah Sihfay，无授权自译，侵删。
这一封……爱是真的，恨也是真的，人是复杂矛盾，不肯忘却，又不肯释然的。
November 19th, 1952
Albus--
You would truly do that? Break Its power?
I suppose I shouldn't even bother to ask.
It is peculiar, though, how much the idea distresses me. Breaking and violating Its entire history...you've held It, Albus. You've felt It tugging at your heart and soul, power as tremendous and inviolate as Death itself. To imagine that power--phenomenal, unique, ancient--destroyed forever...
I do not even know my own reaction. But, Albus, I thought you did not kill.
As for your little moment of combustion--there are no dementors in Nurmengard, Albus. The guards are only human--and, no, you shouldn't begrudge them a little sport with me. I have gone too far down the path of the Dark for pain to be anything but an inconvenience. Didn't you, too, rant endlessly about my sins when you finally came to vanquish me? Wouldn't you have me tossed in prison for taking the life of a single Muggle, after your saintly change of heart, no matter what it means for our Greater Good? Who are you to dictate my Hell?
There are no dementors, yet still, every night as I sleep, there are screams. And do you really think I'd prefer to hear the screams of wizards falling in battle, or of Muggles at labor or under torture, or even my own when I heard of your betrayal to our cause, when instead I might hear your screams of pleasure at my hands all those years ago? Of course I have been thinking of that. Of course I have been writing on it. You were beautiful once, you miserable dingbat.
And if you are ashamed, humiliated, that you were once the confidant and lover of the Dark terror of the century--well, I must get my revenge somehow. Go teach your children, eat your candy, preen your bird and bury me. But we were brilliant together, Albus, and not even you can change history.
【译文】
阿不思：
你真的会那么做？摧毁它的力量？
我想我连问都是多余。
但奇特的是，这个想法竟让我如此苦恼。断绝和背弃它的全部历史……你已经得到它了，阿不思。你能感觉到它牵动着你的心魂，力量之庞然与亘古一如死亡本身。设想这么一种力量——非凡，独特，古老——被永久地毁灭……
我甚至不知道该做什么反应。但是，阿不思，我以为你不会这么做。
至于你那片刻的怒火中烧——纽蒙迦德这没有摄魂怪，阿不思。那些看守只是普通人——所以，不，你不应当妒忌他们和我开点小玩笑。我在黑魔法的道路上走得太远，因此疼痛不过是点小麻烦。而且，当你最终征服我的那一刻，你不也曾滔滔不绝地怒叱我的罪孽？在你高尚地转变了态度之后，你没有因为我了结了区区一个麻瓜的小命就把我丢进监狱？无论这对我们的伟业意味着什么？到底是谁一手铸就了我的地狱？
这里没有摄魂怪，但即便如此，每一个夜晚，我的梦都被尖叫声填满。难道你真的认为我更喜欢听到巫师们在战场上倒下的惨叫，或是麻瓜们被奴役或折磨的惨叫，甚至是听说你背叛了我们的事业后我自己的哭号，而不是许多年前你释放在我手中时不胜欢愉的喘鸣？我当然会不住的回想。我当然会频频提及。曾经你有那么美，你这个可悲的老傻瓜。
而假如你为此羞愧过，耻辱过，因为你曾是本世纪最邪恶的黑魔头的知己与恋人——那么，我也算是报了仇。
尽管教你的小娃娃去，尽管去吃你的糖果，给你的鸟梳毛还有遗忘我。但我们霁月光风地相恋过，阿不思，这一段过往就连你也无法抹杀。
1952年11月19日
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